An Institution Called Marriage

We all go through an institution in some phase of our lives. In the beginning phase we go through schooling. Then it is followed by college. Then come further higher studies. These institutions have the same process.

Giving us a good learning experience. Through every institution is different from one another, they make the person experienced enough to understand life better. Marriage is also an institution where two people come together and vow to spend their lives together for the coming years. The concept of matrimony has been made to make two of them to understand each other better and remain with each other in sickness and in health.

Though marriage ceremony is performed in different manners, all of them have the same concept. However marriages are not successful as they were once. The initial phases of life seem like a dream for the couple where they live, eat, sleep together. They glorify and enjoy each other’s presence. However, the coming of a new member i.e. a baby seems to take a toll on their married life. The couple seems to make priorities. The wife soon becomes a mother and the father seems like a providing member of the family and nothing else. Both the husband and wife hardly get any time to come close together. Another factor that detours their relationship is extended working hours. As the cost of living is rising each day, the couple find themselves in thick position to run their households through single income. Therefore the woman of the house tends to climb the corporate ladder and bring some dough in the house. Her devotion towards work and family takes a toll on the married life which is thriving for a commitment through good communication.

Communication can only be empowered if the couple sit down and talk, but since time is a big constraint misunderstandings crop up that lead to quarrel and sleepless nights. This might even lead to disastrous things like a divorce.
However difficult it might seem, the couple should spend quality time with one another. Bringing back the romance that once had sparked chemistry must soon be brought back. A few of these guidelines can be worked upon to bring back the romance in the institution of marriage. The essence of touch: As we grow, we realize the importance of touch in our lives. Babies touch their mothers and feel safety and security. Animals too feel wanted if they are stroked. A Hug cures all physical and mental ailments and similarly the feelings of compassion and warmth in a relation is dependant on the density of touch. The greater is the touch quotation, the stronger is the physical and emotional bonding. Most couple prefers not to touch each other with the passage of time and tend to remain in their own world of safety which they project in a defiant manner. Touch does not mean a dependence on someone. It brings us the message ‘I am there Honey for you always’. Come what may, the essence of touch is the most required thing for a couple to work up their institution of marriage. Touching while watching T.V. or while talking or walking is very theruptic. Touching each other should always be encouraged as it gives signals of belongingness to the brain.

Talk to make the lessons in marriage work: It is very important for couple to talk to each other to ease any problems. Often the wife might feel neglected due to husband’s late hours or the husband might feel that he is not fed properly. Talking makes things easy as couples understand each other more better which makes their marriage work. Men and women originate from different planets. Men are from Mars while women are form Venus. Their communication level is completely different. Women look for body language and Facial expressions. They come to conclusions slowly. The opposite gender would like things on an easy platform where he wants logical and coherent sequence. It is sad to see people generally avoiding each other to talk and rather spend more time reading, listening to music, hang out with friends or watching TV.

Till divorce do us apart: With societies becoming ultra modern, marriages have taken a back seat where traditional values are looked upon. They take marriage as another step in their life and do not tend to work on it. The D word which was rarely used, has become a common thing now-a-days. People do not mind walking out of their marriage because of the smallest quarrel. They do not want to hold their marriage anymore. They feel threatened if their personal values are over-looked and try to find better partners to give themselves a deserving break. The very word should be shunned as much as possible. Because if you do not know the word you will never use it practically. To minimise the fight it is important for the couple to sort things out on their own rather than settle things in the court. It is not necessary that the second marriage can also work. Therefore love your partner and give respect if you want the same back. Generate positivist in your domain: Your home is not a house built on cement and mortar but it is made on mutual understanding and respect. Foster the positive energy emitting out radiations in the form of love and receive the same feelings back in return.

Friends for life: It is important for two people to understand each other as good friends rather than soul mates before entering matrimony. Understanding likes and dislikes often plays a pivotal part in running the institution of marriage. Encouraging each other, bringing gifts for each other, helping out, feeling sorry for any wrong action and loving each other unconditionally helps a lot in the long run to make marriage work. Therefore couple should take each other as friends first.

Honesty for a stronger compatibility: This phenomenon is soon changing in the environment we live. Couples are no longer truthful towards each other. They lie at each others back and pretend to be truthful and innocent. They even carry on extra marital affairs to satisfy their sexual appetite and act as over loyal to their spouse to overcome feelings of guilt form their side. This will not work for a longer duration since such actions often land people in the near future. Being honest with your spouse is being honest with yourself. If you are not honest with yourself, you will never be at peace. Soon your partners would refuse having trust in you and the institution of marriage you built so fondly would soon seem to collapse in front of your own eyes.

Stand by me in tough times: As it is said ‘tough times do not last, but tough people do’. Couples who vow to survive in any condition tough or easy stay together forever. However spouses who are too greedy and over-demanding tend to remain with their partners in good times only. The moment of truth comes in times of difficulty when the couple should actually be staying together and not let go of each other. Their attachment towards each other makes them stronger and more committed and makes their marriage grow each day. With every sunset follows a sunrise, similarly bad times are soon followed by good times. It can happen in any case. A woman might want her man to be beside her for domestic reasons or raising kids. Whereas a man might want his wife to be there when he needs her love and support in his financial crisis. So it is all a game of give and take. Give more and take less. Careers taking a toll: With rising income in the same family and money becoming a primary issue most couples prefer to spend their time if together in crowded malls, over-crowded theatres or stuffed restaurant. They are however unable to confront their feelings with each other and discuss their feelings in such stuffy environment. A warm comfortable home lighted up with the essence of love and fragranced with the freshness of compassion is the most desirable thing of today. People who are busy running their houses with over-burdened loans hardly have any time for loving moments of togetherness.

No time for Sex: Sex seems to take a back seat for people who are immensely caught in the clutches of work and family. They try to balance both fronts which take a toll on their sexual chemistry. Women who are busy doing household and official work turn down advances from their husbands who are equally frustrated with overpressure work. The result is no chemistry in bed. Couples should understand the importance of passion to grew up their compassion. Love through sexual intimacy brings the couples closer than any other remedy. So it is important turn up the love meter and brew some passion their lives. This school of compatibly need no principals, teachers or mentor. It just requires guidelines to learn the lesson of compatibly and to grow together and become a doctorate in the institution of marriage. So prioritize your marriage before anything else and miracles are bound to happen.

Author: admin